Why I'm Not Where You Are

by Comanaut

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I never meant for it to end this way
All these ashes in my hands
Yesterday went down in flames so fast
I missed my chance
Just understand I had to
Give my best
Before I left with
So much left to say
It's best to say goodbye before I can't
We could set fire to these years
I wouldn't have to dream
Let's say a prayer and ask to
Turn these tears to gasoline
Half the things I thought I'd never have
Are here to stay
But I'm just like my dad
I'd Rather burn it down and walk away

I can't hold on
Lost my grip then I
Lost my mind
Hard to find
Where did I go wrong
I'm just fine
I walk this line
All the time
I just drive until I find what
All of this is for
Watch me walk into the waves until
I wash up on the shore
Back in the bathroom on the floor
And I'm throwing up
Knowing that it's hopeless
When you always do the drugs you were supposed to flush
Got a baby girl and she's growing up
When she's sleeping
Her daddy's dreamin of being rich
When he's still broke as fuck

By the time you hear this
I'll be gone
Chasing what I was
Dedicated to erasing what I'd done
I know I've made mistakes
But I still wonder if the day will ever come
When the stains'll fade away and you could make me
Give a fuck
I caught that case and told you
Basically I'm done
I know you want to help me so just
Pray for me
I'm dumb enough to run
Your son forgot the place that he was from
You'd never recognize my face
Because it's full of all the hatred for
The stranger I've become
There's hate , and there's love
Theres Faith, and there's guns
There's pain, but it was numb
You can blame it on the drugs
I couldn't face the shame for giving up
My struggle was in vein
Because I paid for it in blood
In love the first cut is the deepest
I need the pieces to fit
I'm so sick of keeping these secrets
These secrets keeping me sick
I wish that this shit was different
Wishing's never got me very far
So just sit and listen this is
Why I'm not Where you are

Hold on so
You don't sail away
Or, let go.....
The waves
Won't say my name at all
So long....
My bones have blown away
They cannot feel
You're safe
I'm not the ghost
Breathing on
Your neck
I will lose you

Your smell somehow remains
Those lights
They really light your skin
The sound
Of your echo
And those eyes
I'm finished...


released December 17, 2015



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Comanaut Washington, D.C.

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